The tale below will not end in a ‘happily ever after’. Bianca and Frenchy were not meant to become star-crossed lovers. Following their first, and only date, resulting from connecting on an online dating site, Bianca kindly informed Frenchy that it was best not to meet again, but that she wished him good luck in finding the right person; he, being the prince charming that he was, informed her that if he happened upon her on the street he probably wouldn’t have picked her up anyway.
Bianca and Frenchy met on an online dating site. Bianca, a woman in her early 30s, hadn’t placed much credence in online dating, but, as a single lady of child-bearing years who hoped not to die alone surrounded by feral cats, she thought that she should try to be open to the idea.
One evening, she received a message from Frenchy. His online profile and messages came across as sweet and he looked attractive in his photos. Following a bit of online banter, Bianca and Frenchy decided that it would be a good idea to speak on the phone. Given that Frenchy was from France, he was delighted that Bianca was able to keep up their light conversation in his mother tongue.
Frenchy and Bianca agreed to meet that weekend. Frenchy thought that a walk along the river would make for a nice first date. Bianca, a bit wary given that she did not know Frenchy from Adam, suggested coffee instead, as she had visions of Frenchy drowning her in the water if the date went badly. (Bianca hadn’t been on a date in a while). Although Bianca had indicated that she might prefer to meet for coffee instead Frenchy persisted, citing the beautiful summer weather and got his way. (Red Flag #1).
In the days before their date, Bianca received a few texts from Frenchy. He asked her how she was doing and how her week was going, etc. The day before their date he confirmed the time and location for their ‘meet-up’. Bianca thought that this was a positive sign and that Frenchy must be very organized and thoughtful.
On ‘D’ day, Bianca gussied herself up and headed for her date with an open heart and mind, and low expectations. She hoped for a good or pleasant date, but knew that it was best not to go in with any preconceived notions of how the date would unfold. Bianca was smart to do so.
Unbeknownst to her, as she was driving to her destination Frenchy had sent her a text message ten minutes before their date was to begin asking where she was. Bianca thought this a bit strange as they were to meet at 3:00 and not 2:50, but she assumed that Frenchy must be overly punctual.
Now, Bianca had just parked her car and was one block away from the agreed meeting spot when the clock struck 2:57. Just as she was leaving her car, low and behold, Frenchy called her seeming slightly panicked as he couldn’t find her. (Red Flag #2). Bianca thought this to be a bit much, as she was literally a minute away, but she continued with her ‘open heart and mind’ mantra as she walked over to meet Frenchy.
As mentioned earlier, Frenchy seemed to have a nice profile, which included some attractive photos and that listed Frenchy’s height as 5’10”. Now, Bianca is not obsessive about a man’s height – she would happily take a good guy who might be on the shorter side, over a tall jerk. She is, after all, not a glutton for punishment. However, despite this openness, Bianca’s eyes still function perfectly. As she rounded the corner to meet Frenchy, her heart sank a little. Frenchy looked better in his photos and he was not 5’10”…he wasn’t even close to 5’10”. (Red Flag #3). Bianca thought that Frenchy might have difficulty understanding numbers to think that he was 5’10”. But, she soldiered on, as she had an ‘open heart and mind’, and joined Frenchy for that walk along the river.
Frenchy and Bianca went through the usual pleasantries, asking each other where the other was from, talked about their siblings, and their hobbies, etc. After several minutes of this, Frenchy and Bianca found a bench on which to continue their conversation. It was good that Bianca was sitting, or else the onslaught of questions might have literally floored her.
Frenchy asked Bianca how long a couple should date before they got married. Bianca found this an interesting (read: bizarre) question for a first date, but she gave a notional response, as she was determined to stay open and give Frenchy a chance. After all, he was very complimentary and was, quite obviously, trying to impress her. Frenchy also asked how often a couple should meet each week when in the midst of dating. For Frenchy, it was important for a couple to see each other regularly, or else the possibility for cheating increased and one would have no control over the relationship. Bianca found it strange that Frenchy used the term control more than once, but perhaps it was only a language thing and control had a different connotation in French (read: doubtful!). (Red flag #4).
Frenchy prided himself throughout the date as being very direct and open and honest – and full of himself. Actually, he didn’t say the latter, but this, in addition to his openness and honesty (read: lack of a filter and tact), was on full display that day as he asked Bianca to tell him right then and there whether she found him to be attractive and if there was going to be a second date. He prefaced this question with a statement, noting that he had been on many dates where women had found him to be very handsome. (Note that modesty was not on the descriptor list). (Red Flag #5)
Bianca was, understandably, taken aback. For your information, Bianca is naturally diplomatic and ordinarily chooses her words wisely, particularly when it comes to sensitive situations, such as those where someone’s feelings could be hurt. Now, you can imagine that Bianca struggled quite a bit with this question. Should she: 1) be honest and say that she wasn’t attracted to this man; 2) skirt around the question and respond evasively; or, 3) run fast and far away and try to salvage the rest of a beautiful afternoon? Well, if you knew Bianca (which you don’t by the way!) you would know that she chose option #2 to avoid a real (read: face to face) discussion of the matter. But really, Bianca thought, who would ask a person such a question on a first date? (Red Flag #6).
For some reason, perhaps because Bianca was going into this date with an ‘open heart and mind’, Bianca allowed the date to progress to drinks on the rooftop patio of a local pub. Did I mention that Bianca can sometimes be a little too patient?
Perhaps due to the altitude (of one storey) the date moved from bad to worse…quickly. When pushed again by Frenchy, Bianca at last confessed that she wasn’t that attracted physically, but noted that sometimes this can change once you get to know a person, and that maybe they could start out as friends. Well, this wasn’t exactly the response Frenchy was seeking as – I think I forgot to mention before – Frenchy wasn’t looking for any new friends and was determined to find a girlfriend (if not a partner) before winter, because, obviously, it’s impossible to find love in the winter months as love hibernates once the first snows fall, right? (Red Flag #7).
To make matters worse, Frenchy suggested that Bianca’s singleness was directly attributed to her closed heart and lack of openness, which, of course, was what Bianca, like any other single woman, was so hoping to hear. (Red Flag #8).
It was determined that the two should split the $8 veggie platter, as the date wasn’t going to progress beyond ‘friendship’ and therefore wasn’t a real date requiring any chivalry on Frenchy’s part. (Red Flag #9). Also, Frenchy made it clear that any rejection by Bianca would not be a loss, as he had plenty of other dates already scheduled, which he demonstrated to Bianca by showing her the various messages from other single ladies on his cell phone. (Red Flag #10).
Well, the appointed time drew near, and Frenchy and Bianca were soon to part ways. Frenchy, ever persistent, tried valiantly to convince Bianca that a second date might be merited. He was eager to cook for her chez soi. You can imagine that if Bianca was worried before their date about being thrown in the river, a second date in Frenchy’s home, after the date to end all dates, was not so appealing. For some reason, visions of a room with soundproof walls and chains popped up.
My friends, you already know that the story of Bianca and Frenchy does not have a fairy tale ending and the two would never lay eyes on one another again.
In case you were wondering what happened to our heroine in the end: well, she drove away into the sunset a little battered and bruised by her experience with Frenchy, but, no matter, as this still remains intact: Bianca still continues to live her life with an open heart and open mind as she waits for the right ‘one’ to come along.
(I mean Bianca)