You know sometimes a study comes along that is so important, so life-changing, you can’t help but step back in awe and appreciation of the good work that was done. You can’t help but wonder why no one else had considered the subject matter to be so essential for study. Such a study was released the other week. And which study was it might you ask? A French study that suggests that women should consider going braless because, and as noted in a Reuters report by Tara Oakes, bras weaken “the natural muscles that hold up breasts”.

I for one am so delighted to know that there are people out there who are so concerned about the health of my breasts and the breasts of fellow women and where those breasts may or may not sit on our chests as a result of wearing an ‘over the shoulder boulder holder’. Because really, aren’t there too many doctors working to cure and eradicate cancer and diseases like HIV/AIDS? I mean, come on, nothing is more important than boobies – especially studying the contraptions that hold them up.

I’m so happy to learn too that the study was led by a middle-aged male sports doctor – that’s not creepy in any way – who was so thorough in his research. He did study the busts of 300 women between the ages of 18 to 35 – a pretty ripe age group if I do say so myself. Of course, he needed to be painstaking in his research. A small subset of boobies – no pun intended – wouldn’t do for such critical work.

I do worry though about the lingerie industry and all those poor Victoria Secret models whose incomes will be decimated by this study. What will they do when we all go braless? I’m not sure their bodies could take solid food after all of the juice cleanses they’ve done in order to look their best in the brassieres.

I can imagine how many women around the world have squealed in delight over this study because going braless won’t be engrossing in any way shape or form for the opposite sex. Being all jiggly wiggly as we walk or run won’t draw any interest. And nipples, at full attention, covered by nary a piece of a lacy bra, won’t draw the male gaze our way. Surely, we should all feel a great debt of gratitude to this doctor.

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the study that tells us that we should all go commando.

Signing off.

Y.

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