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Posts in: Relationships

Love is in the Air

LoveThere seem to be three main sentiments that arise when Valentine’s Day arrives. One is either: 1) excited beyond belief to celebrate a relationship with another on what is – arguably – the most romantic day of the year; 2) livid, because one is alone and annoyed with all of the pomp and circumstance, commercialization, and general amorousness; or, 3) indifferent and more thrilled about the Season 2 premier of House of Cards on Netflix. Perhaps there would be more excitement all around if it were a statutory holiday. Who doesn’t love a day off work? This way, too, singletons could sleep the day away, far from public displays of affection and buried under duvet covers, eating self-purchased chocolates, and watching When Harry Met Sally and other Meg Ryan-approved films until the clock strikes midnight, bidding the cursed day away. (Not to sound all Bridget Jones about the matter, or anything).

In all seriousness though, I think that it is wonderful that there is a day on which we celebrate love. It may be the eternal optimist in me, or the side of me that wants to believe, despite so many examples to the contrary, that human beings are capable of great love and kindness. Given how efficient we are as a species at undercutting others, or pillaging, maiming and killing fellow Homo sapiens, it seems more than reasonable that, on at least one day in the year, we pause to celebrate love and extend affection to others.

Although the day has become focused on eros love (that focused on sexual or romantic desire), I believe that we do ourselves a great disservice when we forget about the three other forms of love that the Ancient Greeks identified: storge (kinship or familiarity); friendship (philia) and agape (self-emptying or divine love). It could be the idealist in me that seeks inclusivity, but looking at love in this multi-faceted way makes love even more accessible than we might at first believe. Despite what commercials or films may show, even if one is without a romantic honey, there is still so much love to celebrate. I love my friends. I love my family. Sometimes (I must confess) I even love strangers – particularly those who, with an offhanded remark, make me laugh or who remind me of something that makes me nostalgic. In sum, the glass is more than half full, given how many beloveds you really can possess.

Signing off (with love),

Y.

Frenchy Redux

Loyal readers of The Y Variable will likely remember the post “Bianca and Frenchy: A Mismatch from the Outset”. We all assumed that once Bianca and Frenchy parted ways that that would be the end of their story. This turns out not to be the case.

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Our heroine, Bianca, lives in a city that has in so many ways the characteristics of a small town. Most people are connected within only a few degrees of separation and the pool from which one can draw for dating purposes is limited. As a result, dating in  Bianca’s city can easily feel a bit incestuous.

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Bianca and Frenchy: A Mismatch from the Outset

sign-44378_640*Disclaimer: The names of the characters described below have been changed to protect their identities. Any resemblance to persons living or dead that you may know may, or may not be coincidental.

Prologue:

The tale below will not end in a ‘happily ever after’. Bianca and Frenchy were not meant to become star-crossed lovers. Following their first, and only date, resulting from connecting on an online dating site, Bianca kindly informed Frenchy that it was best not to meet again, but that she wished him good luck in finding the right person; he, being the prince charming that he was, informed her that if he happened upon her on the street he probably wouldn’t have picked her up anyway.

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